All themes

Friendship

This theme runs through several big questions. Here are the ones where it plays out.

The questions that illuminate it

Relation to othersNature of love

What lies at the heart of love: a lack, a gift, or something else?

To love, is it to want to seize what we lack, to give without expecting anything, to be played by forces that surpass us, or to build a chosen bond that is cultivated? Depending on the answer, love may last or die out once fulfilled, and it does not ask the same thing of us. To take a position is to say what we are really seeking when we say we love.

Eros as lackAgape as giftRuse of the speciesPhilia (friendship)YOU
Plato
85
15
Schopenhauer
10
20
70
Michel de Montaigne
5
95
Aristotle
10
90
Epicurus
10
90
Spinoza
15
25
60
+ 6 more figures

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Relation to othersBelonging

Where does our belonging lie first: with our own community, or with humanity as a whole?

Favouring our own gives us roots but can shut the door on the stranger; opening to all enlarges the heart but risks belonging nowhere. To decide is to say whom we owe something to first, when near and distant loyalties come into conflict.

Communitarianismand patriotismCosmopolitanismConfuciusEpicurusCynicismYOU

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Relation to othersSelf-interest and others

What place should we give our own interest next to that of others?

Should I put myself first, leaving each to look after themselves, or place others' good before my own? Living only for oneself corrodes every bond; sacrificing oneself entirely dissolves the very self that loves. To take a position is to say what we owe ourselves, and what we owe others.

EthicalegoismAltruismCalliclesMichel de MontaigneUtilitarianismYOU

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